Cynthia Heimal

In When Your Phone Doesn't Ring, It'll Be Me, which critics say is her best yet, Heimel reveals her secrets - which turn out to be our own. She croons over sweatpants. She finds the secret cause of romantic obsession. She hates Rush Limbaugh. She finds the hilarity in feminism. She shops for a new city for us to live in, away from Bible-thumping homophobes but near some trees. She finds romantic tranquility and gets bored. And her love affair with dogs gets to the point where we may have to perform an intervention.